I'm BACK!

Where have I been? For almost two years now, I have been running and hiding like a little school girl. Ok, well maybe not to that extent but there is some truth to that statement.

Why was I hiding? Fear, embarrassment, random midget fighting…. For the previous 8 years of my life I was a youth pastor/speaker dude/professional Christian. I got divorced and people saw that I was pretty screwed up. I wasn’t shocked by this news flash but many were. I hated seeing people I knew at the store or anywhere for that matter because everyone wanted to talk, and ask stupid questions like how I was doing and stuff. The nerve of some people……

I was burned out. Done. El finishedO. The Christian life for me got to be a game that I was very good at playing. I love competition but I got tired of competing in the game of Christianity. Everyone is a judge and you are always in their court room.

I said… F this. I’m gone. I lost about 93% of my friends because of my unpardonable sin (divorce) and was just done with all of them. My thought process became very simple. Jesus is cool but his people SUCK. People are just flat out overrated.

Do I have regrets? Yes. In my decision to bolt I moved thousands of miles away from the most important thing in my life. At the time I convinced myself that I wouldn’t be gone long and that I would make frequent trips back to Houston for work and that I would see my precious daughter Rylee often. That turned out to not exactly be the case and it is the biggest regret of my life. I called and spoke to her often but not seeing her really tore me up. I am happy to report that I now live in the same house with Rylee and she is doing very well.

Am I glad I moved? Heck o berries yes. Huntington Beach is an amazing, beautiful place. We live two stinking blocks from the ocean and Nicole has made the apartment into a very beautiful oasis (wow.. look at that word, I am very fancy now) Check out some of the sweet pics on Nicole’s blog. 

Am I a Christian? Who knows? I would say that I am a recovering Christian or a Rogue Christian, maybe even a bad Christian. Still working on my new title.

Am I saved? Well I think you really need to mind your own business…. Anyway. I know many people have said to me that I am not saved. There has been a time in my professional Christian life that I would have told someone like me that they weren’t saved. At that time in my pro career as a Christian I was an arrogant, judgmental, UN loving little prick that loved to beat people up with the bible. 

Fear will never motivate or restore long term. It can’t. Love wins. Love restores. Start loving people and maybe we will listen. Exiling people and lording over them with your bible passages and your roman road just pisses people off. It seems people would rather tell you how wrong and messed up you are than to see that you just need a someone to talk to. 

NEWSFLASH: Life is hard. It’s a struggle. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense. My Christian life was always filled with Multi Level Marketers (MLM). You know these people who have only one agenda and its not you. They call you on the phone or see you around town and you get scared. I personally run and hide. I know the next question out of an MLMer right after they ask how I am doing. The second question is always if I have seen their new product or if I would like to make extra money. Of course I want some extra cash you freak. I just don’t want to pay you $35 a month and have a tree of people under me and boxes of crap in my house. The same is true of many Christians I knew. I hated talking to them because it was never a normal conversation. It was always forced. 

Most people don’t want to talk about “Their walk with Christ” all the time. I don’t even know what it means to “Walk with Christ”. Where am I supposed to be walking with him anyway? Maybe I just wasn’t spiritual enough to get it. Maybe Christians should try talking about things that their “targets” want to discuss before throwing their three memorized bible passages at them. 

In His Grip. Yours and His. Just two examples of pathetic email signatures. No one knows what that means. It just freaks people out. Stop trying so hard to be mister spiritual. It’s an email. Just put your name and be done. You might as well just ask them when you can demo your new life changing, money making, idea to them and 14 of their closest friends.

How am I doing? You know me…. Just Livin the Dream (LTD) I am doing pretty well… thanks for asking. I’m in a relationship now with an amazing woman who challenges me, inspires me, and motivates me to be the best that I can be. I just hope Nicole never meets my first wife…. Talk about an awkward situation.

It has taken a long time but I have become much more honest with people in my life.

Ultimately, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. I have lived a crazy life. Good thing is… My hardships have all been because of other people. My new motto is…Why blame yourself when you can blame someone else… Amazing Right?? While that theory is amazing…. It is unfortunately very false. I have created nearly every hardship that I have come into contact with. I have learned… I hope… from them and I want to help others avoid some of the mistakes I have made.

It was great talking to you. See you soon.

In His grip,

Sincerely,

Yours and His